Protecting Our Children

A Conversation About Parents’ Rights

Parenthood is a privilege.  In fact, parenthood provides privileges piled upon privileges.  For this author, it is the greatest of all privileges.  But parents have a lot of responsibilities.  From making sure their children are loved, fed, clothed and sheltered to shuttling them to the myriad sports events, clubs, lessons, and visits with friends, parents have a seemingly endless list of responsibilities.  Sometimes it feels like new responsibilities reveal themselves every single day.  We have named a few, but there are many, many more. 

So.

Many.

More. 

To fulfill all of these responsibilities, a parent must also fulfill one other important role:  that of a guardian.  

Parents cannot do it on their own, though.  Other adults contribute to a child’s development.  Whether they be grandparents, aunts or uncles, teachers, coaches, scout leaders, private instructors, tutors, Sunday school teachers, or other adults who are paid or volunteer to work with a child, the old saying is that “it takes a village” to raise a child to adulthood.  And these roles should be viewed as sacred by society, because they can make all the difference to a child and their development into an adult.  They should also be viewed with caution, as these adults can also influence in ways that may be out of alignment with parents’ desires.  Regardless of the role, when a parent puts their trust in another adult, they expect that adult to serve the role of guardian as well.

Each parent or set of parents has their own unique parenting approaches.  Different parents have different priorities, whether they be academics, athletics, art, worship, music, financial literacy, or even culture/politics.  One thing is for sure, diverse parenting styles produce interesting and unique individuals.  And that is wonderful.  Different parents also have different opinions about what is and is not appropriate for their children and how their children should be protected.

If parents do not like the way a coach, a tutor, or a scout leader instructs their child, they can pull the child from the program.  However, school is mandatory and not every parent can pull their child from public school.  So, when the parent takes issue with the school, where do the parent’s rights end and where do policies of a school system begin to overrule a parent’s preferences?

Starting the Discussion

To move this discussion forward, we would like to start with a particularly contentious interaction between a parental rights advocate and a member of the corporate media.  In a January 2024 interview on MSNBC (click the link to watch), Joy Reid questioned Tiffany Justice, the co-founder of a parental rights advocacy group called “Moms for Liberty.”

During the interview, Joy brings up a website that provides what she calls “essentially a Cliff Notes for books.”  She explains that you can use keywords to get “out of context passages from the book, and then based on that, Moms for Liberty members are going to places like Broward County school board meetings, reading out of context passages from these books and then demanding the school board remove them.”  Joy goes on to ask, “What is the expertise that you have, and other Moms for Liberty advocates have to decide that a book, an award-winning book like All Boys Aren’t Blue, isn’t appropriate for students to read?”

Ms. Justice responds to Ms. Reid, “What a tragic story about of a young man who is anally raped by his adult family member.  So, you have incest, rape, pedophilia… In what context is a strap-on dildo acceptable for a public school?  Tell me what the context around the strap-on dildo or the rape of a minor child by a teacher…,” at which point Ms. Reid interrupts Ms. Justice. Instead of responding to the question, Ms. Reid takes her typical cowardly tactic of attacking any interview subject who dares oppose the narrative with which she intends to pound her audience.  In this case, she aims to discredit Ms. Justice.  Ms. Reid asks, “What is the name of the main character in All Boys Aren’t Blue?”  Ms. Justice replies, “You are asking me right now to name…”. Again, Ms. Reid interrupts (part of her obnoxious interview tactic) with, “You just gave me very specific information about this book, so you are presenting yourself as somebody expert.”  Ms. Justice begins to reply and Ms. Reid interrupts yet again, “Who is the main character of the book?”  Ms. Justice replies, “The main character is the author.”  Ms. Reid presses on, “What’s his name?”  Ms. Justice replies, “George, I believe.”

Having apparently accomplished her goal of discrediting Ms. Justice, Ms. Reid goes on to say, “As you are not an expert in this book… this book is a full context story, as you said, of the author’s experience.  Why is it your right or a Moms for Liberty activist’s right to say that a parent who wants their child to have access to this book, which gives a personal experience of this author… why doesn’t a liberal parent, for instance, or a parent of an LGBTQ kid – why don’t they have a right for their child to have access to this book?  Why is it your right to say they can’t?”  Ms. Reid goes on to interrupt Ms. Justice over and over again.

As we will see shortly, Ms. Justice pretty much correctly answered all of the questions about the book. The main character was the author. The author’s name is, in fact, George. And the main character was a young man who was sexually assaulted by an older family member.  So, it seems Ms. Justice is an expert on the book, as if that matters since Ms. Reid was just trying to dodge the relevant topic, which is the placement of inappropriate adult material in the hands of children.

Ms. Reid represented herself as what she is:  an absolute troll.  Ms. Justice stood her ground despite the mistreatment from Ms. Reid.  Watch the video, if you can stomach it.  Joy Reid’s condescending tactic of talking over her interviewee epitomizes everything that is awful about corporate media.  She is too cowardly to let Ms. Justice respond – probably because Ms. Reid herself knew that she was out of her depth and could not defend public school libraries providing children with books detailing anal rape of a minor.

All Boys Aren’t Blue

Here at Meet Me in the Middle, we don’t like taking the word of the leader of an advocate group or the word of a troll reporter like Joy Reid.  So, we did our own homework.  Usually, we like to do our homework on matters such as this, but there was little to enjoy about reading All Boys Aren’t Blue.

First of all, it is a powerful story and Ms. Justice was correct when she used the word “tragic” to describe this story.  “All Boys Aren’t Blue: A Memoir-Manifesto” is a personal account written by author George M. Johnson.  The story details a boy’s journey into adulthood while trying to understand and explore his homosexuality.  He discusses some of the defining experiences and defining influences of his life.  There are many poignant portions of the book.  It is definitely a story worth being told.

However, All Boys Aren’t Blue is also a story that includes descriptive details of the incestuous sexual assault of a 13-year-old boy (the author) by a male cousin who was “older by about four or five years.”  So, he is talking about his 17- or 18-year-old cousin.  This older cousin spent the night one time and shared a bed with the author.  The author writes about the details of his older cousin pressing his erect penis against him and forcing the 13-year-old to put his hand on it.  The author explained that, even at that time, he knew that “Cousins weren’t supposed to do these things with cousins.”  But his older cousin pressed him, saying “It’s fine. Trust me.  You know I wouldn’t do anything to hurt you.”  The physical encounter escalated at the urging of the older cousin to the point that he pressured the author to “Come on… taste it. This is what boys like us do when we like each other.”  The boys took turns performing oral sex on each other.   The older cousin goes on to masturbate to climax in front of his 13-year-old cousin.

This story also details the first time the author engaged in anal sex.  He described both the first time he inserted himself into another man and the painful first time he was on the receiving end.

It is true that this book is a full context story of the life of the author.  It goes deep into a lot of different traumas and relationships.  It is full of heartbreaking situations and devastating outcomes.  It also contains very explicit descriptions of sexual encounters and incest that raise the question:  At what age is this material appropriate for a child or even a young adult?  And one other question:  Who decides that?

Florida Laws

The State of Florida has received the brightest spotlight for its efforts to protect children from inappropriate material and empower parents to push back when they feel like their children are exposed to inappropriate material.  The laws that are in place to accomplish these goals have been implemented to a well-publicized end:  books have actually been removed from schools and corporate media exploited this in a deceitful way.  Since these laws were passed by a conservative governor who was a presidential candidate at the time, the liberal corporate media provided their audiences with a perverted stance on the news of the removal from schools of material deemed to be inappropriate.  They claimed it was censorship, they claimed that censorship was targeted at LGBTQ+ subject matter, and they claimed it was being promoted by an authoritarian governor.

As we have mentioned many times, we like to do our homework here at Meet Me in the Middle, so let’s take a look at the controversial “book ban” law, HB 1467, which states:

Each district school board must adopt a policy regarding an objection by a parent or a resident of the county to the use of a specific instructional material, which clearly describes a process to handle all objections and provides for resolution. The process must provide the parent or resident the opportunity to proffer evidence to the district school board that:

a.  An instructional material does not meet the criteria of s. 1006.31(2) or s. 1006.40(3)(d) if it was selected for use in a course or otherwise made available to students in the school district but was not subject to the public notice, review, comment, and hearing procedures under s. 1006.283(2)(b)8., 9., and 11.

b.  Any material used in a classroom, made available in a school library, or included on a reading list contains content that is pornographic or prohibited under s. 847.012, is not suited to student needs and their ability to comprehend the material presented, or is inappropriate for the grade level and age group for which the material is used.

Chapter 847, Section 012, is an extremely important part of the story, because it describes laws about selling or distributing “harmful materials” to minors or using minors to produce such materials.  This statute says it is unlawful to sell or distribute to a minor “Any picture, photograph, drawing, sculpture, motion picture film, videocassette, or similar visual representation or image of a person or portion of the human body which depicts nudity or sexual conduct, sexual excitement, sexual battery, bestiality, or sadomasochistic abuse and which is harmful to minors.”

And that is it.  Those are the big scary laws.  Zero books are banned by the law.  No book is unavailable for purchase in the State of Florida if that book is legal in the United States.  Any parent can make the decision to provide any such book to their child outside of school.  But parents have a process, per this very reasonable law, by which they may formally challenge the appropriateness of some or all of the contents of a book for access by students.

Is it really that outrageous to give parents the opportunity to challenge a school system over material made available to their child?  Is it that ridiculous to outlaw allowing adults to use children in the making of pornographic material?  Exactly what is the objection of liberals to this law? 

Meeting in the Middle

So, how do we meet in the middle on a topic like this?  Put yourself in the shoes of a parent of a 12-year-old sixth grader (in middle school/junior high school) who brings home a book containing the graphic description of an incestuous sexual assault like we described above from All Boys Aren’t Blue.  Even if you consider this appropriate for a 12-year-old, surely you can understand the perspective of a parent who disagrees.  For the sake of discussion, let’s assume you are like most parents and object to your 12-year-old reading about an older cousin coercing a younger cousin to perform oral sex on him.  What is a reasonable expectation for you to have of the school system?  Is it reasonable that there be a process for raising your concerns to the school system?  Is it reasonable for you to expect the school system to hear your concerns?  Is it reasonable for the school system to give your request due consideration?

That is exactly what is happening in Florida.  Florida has met us in the middle on this topic.  Florida’s starting point is that books are allowed in public school libraries.  If a parent flags a book and the school system agrees that it is not age-appropriate and that it should be removed, then it seems like the system is working.  This does not seem like a system that is overly “conservative,” but are there are additions or changes to the law that would make it more palatable for the left-leaning folks? What would those changes look like?

Further Discussion

The corporate media has painted the laws of Florida in an extremely bad light. Moms for Liberty, as evidenced by the Joy Reid interview, get similar treatment.  After reading to this point of this article, do you consider that to be fair treatment?  Do you consider the laws of Florida to be unreasonable?  Do you consider it unreasonable for parents to keep an eye out for books that graphically detail sexual assault? At what age do you want your child to be able to read about the coercion of a young boy to perform oral sex on his older cousin?

Conformity to conventional standards of behavior and morality are encoded in many state laws.  Conventional standards are that it is unacceptable to punch a child, for instance.  That standard is reflected in law.  However, what is proper and appropriate changes over time.  For instance, a lot of movies that were rated PG-13 forty years ago are easily rated PG by today’s conventional standards.  Laws and policies must be updated to reflect conventional standards.

But who polices the policies of a school system?  Well, the parents do.

One reason that the Florida laws have received so much attention is because the application of these laws have supposedly disproportionately impacted LGBTQ+ literature.  That may be true, or it may not be.  The sexual preferences of book characters do not seem to be the target of the parents who are bringing these concerns to school boards.  They seem more focused on graphic (and, in some cases, pornographic) adult content.  They are certainly focused on content that is created in a form that is particularly appealing to young readers:  graphic novels (like Gender Queer , which includes cartoon illustrations of oral sex).

Is it possible that there are members of any given community that might try to take advantage of laws like they have in Florida to attempt to remove books from school libraries that may not be inappropriate by conventional standards but just might not align with their values?  Yes, absolutely. That is why it is important to be involved in the process that places members to local school boards.  Any law is subject to misuse and abuse if not written in a manner that clearly defines the limits and bounds of its applicability.  The Florida laws are written such that they can be applied by parents with concerns about any adult content.  In communities where concerns do not exist about books that discuss things like incest and rape of minors, those parents may not wish to challenge the presence of such books in school libraries.  The law is exercised on a community level.

Somehow, this has become a partisan issue, with conservatives taking the side of parental rights and liberals taking the side of limiting those parents from objecting to the removal of books.  Those darn conservatives and their insistence on protecting their children from inappropriate adult content!  Liberals are particularly concerned about making sure LGBTQ+ books are not removed, regardless of content involving sexual assault of minors.  So, let us consider a topic that liberals would have you believe is of the utmost importance to their end of the political spectrum:  racism.  (By the way, this issue is actually very important to conservatives, too) What about books that contain content that is considered racist?  As Florida is the model for conservative “book bans,” so is California for liberal book bans.  The Burbank Unified School District in Burbank, CA removed five novels from the core curriculum.  These books include American Classics, such as “Adventures of Huckleberry Finn” by Mark Twain and “To Kill a Mockingbird” by Harper Lee.  Wait a second… is book banning acceptable now?  What about parents who want their children to develop an appreciation for classic American literature?  Or could it possibly be that the outrage of the liberal masses is a result of the duplicitous manipulation of the corporate media that proves time and time again to be untrustworthy? Would this issue have even risen to the national spotlight if not for a legitimate conservative presidential candidate that the liberal media was intent on trashing.

Here at Meet Me in the Middle, we like to explore solutions that have a hope of succeeding.  The problem with this topic is that Florida already has a system that seems suitable for schools to both permit most books while implementing a process that limits access in public schools to certain books with content that is deemed inappropriate.  In fact, the Florida system might even be so robust that it should perhaps be considered as a blueprint for other states.  That is, unless you are a parent who is willing to give up your ability to serve as a guardian to your child or you are a parent who is willing to give up your voice as to what age your child should have access to literature about incestuous sexual assault and other adult material.

The real problem that needs a solution is this:  Public perception is being mangled by a corporate media that misleads and lies to us.  How do we ensure public perception is not perverted by an agenda-driven media that, as Ms. Reid demonstrated, refuses to have honest conversations?  Stop letting them lie to you!  Do your homework.  Find independent media that is going to be honest with you.  If you are unsure if media is being honest with you, just ask yourself:  Have they been clear about their biases and agendas?  Or have they been deceptive and dishonest?  Most importantly, be honest with yourself.

Bringing it Home

One child might be able to process visual depictions of violence, for instance, while another child might find it deeply disturbing.  One child might have nightmares from scary characters in a movie while another child might not.  Should it be some elected or appointed government officials that moderate which children have access to violent or scary movies?  Of course not.  Parents are responsible for protecting their children from shows, movies, or books that might disturb them.  And, let there be no doubt, graphic descriptions of incestuous sexual trauma are disturbing. 

So, who decides when a child is ready for anything?  You already know the answer and you have known all along.  And you know that parents should be empowered to protect their children from this sort of material.  Instead, the parents that are doing the work that all parents should be doing—the very parents who are begrudgingly becoming experts in stories about sexual trauma, incest, and rape of minors, all to better position themselves to protect children—are the ones being publicly attacked and mocked.

Guardians are the people who protect us.  It is a parent’s duty to serve as a guardian to their children and it is the community’s duty to help the parents.  State laws and school system policies should be designed to enhance a parent’s ability to protect their children.  We should all hope that each parent out there is willing to fight like hell to protect their children and to do their part to protect other children.  Be thankful for those adults who helped protect you as a child.  Be thankful for those teachers, coaches, family members, and other members of the community who are helping to protect our nation’s children today.  Do your part to be a guardian of all children by supporting parental rights.